An Open Letter to A**holes

To you – yes you – who may not realize you are an asshole,

I see you walking in the middle of the street, hallway or walkway looking at your phone, side by side with another human, blocking the space the rest of us must occupy to pass you by. You raise your gaze long enough to acknowledge we might collide but you press on expecting me to avoid contact. If we were on open waters we’d both be forced to steer right, but I’m sure you wouldn’t know that tidbit and would need to ask Google to validate that what I just said is accurate. That is if you have the decency to look it up before snapping back at me.

To you -yes you- the inconsiderate person that cuts others off on the highway, that doesn’t allow drivers ahead of them to merge into the lane after signaling, and that always resorts to the finger to show your displeasure with other motorists’ driving style: Honk all you want but I am not running a red light nor over a pedestrian so you can make time to get wherever you left late to get to. Usually you are the reason the rest of us get into accidents. Hold your horses, swallow your pride and understand that the rules apply to you. Courtesy on the road saves lives. Road rage destroys them.

While we are on the subject of vehicles, please park in one stall, not two, or at the furthest parking location to avoid getting your baby scratched. When you pick the best two spots in the lot to do this, it will get damaged anyway. Just sayin’. Also, don’t drink and drive! Those who do not only put their lives in danger but also endanger the mental and physical well being of humans and living beings. With Uber, taxis and free police car rides, you have no excuse to get behind the wheel. Pass the key to a trustworthy designated driver or sober up before hitting the road. The rest of the mortals, and your pets, will thank you.

To the lovely men who complain about women wanting to be taken care of: Please stop! We didn’t ask to be thought of this way. Regardless of our efforts, a complete religious base and male contingent call for women being treated as frail and stupid creatures that are unable to take care of themselves. Worse off their parents treat them as pretty dolls that can only serve as a wife and baby making machine. Don’t act so surprised when you run into the many damsels in distress out there; your culture asked they be raised this way. The best way to help them is to convince society women don’t need protectors and can be self sufficient without patronage. Then, when we finally liberate current and future generations of ladies from oppression and discrimination, we might all get what I assume you are asking for: independent thinkers and doers, women that aren’t afraid to shine, contribute to society and enact social change. A pretty brain lasts longer than a pretty body, look beyond the packaging and learn to appreciate the greatness that lies inside a woman’s mind. As much as I’s like to believe the women’s liberation movement worked, it is still an ongoing effort since women aren’t fully liberated in this day and age. (Wage inequality anyone?)

In this same train of thought, I’d like to address the ladies that have careers and perfect partners, thanks to feminism, but don’t consider yourself one. You may have no idea how much you embody the movement because to you all this seems like the status quo. It isn’t. Furthermore, it is asinine to be afraid of the term feminism especially when the movement has obtained for you so many more freedoms and opportunities. Don’t fall for the mysoginistic propaganda; Feminism is not a bad word and it doesn’t deserve the negative connotations society has implied it has. Be courageous and own your feminist side, male or female. Even guys have a feminist side too! Women’s rights supporters have fought hard so we could have the opportunity to be seen as more than a wife and mother, to think of ourselves as more than property of our husbands but partners. I’ll keep fighting the battle for you wife, daughters, sisters, mothers and female friends to eradicate gender inequality. All I ask is that you educate yourself on the subject and join our fight, or at the very least to not hinder our plight. (Look up the events behind International Women’s Day to get acquainted with the realities of women’s labor rights. On March 8th we don’t celebrate beauty or motherhood. We observe and remember the daring entreprenurial resolve of our female workforce, and of those leaders that died fighting for equality and equity. Women are more than incubators; they are important contributors that shape history and society. Respect your cultural heritage!)

Lastly, I want to take a moment to include and call out all the people that make themselves victims of circumstance. The people who are always blaming others for their problems. The people that mistreat children, animals and other innocent bystanders by unleashing their anger and frustration on them. If this behavior resukts in a police fine or arrest for breaking the law that’s on you. (And no, the pigs aren’t all criminals, they are public servants doing the best they can to protect us from your stupidity.) Your ex wife or ex partner most likely dumped you because your constant whining and complaining drove them away. I can hear you yapping about them from my cubicle at work. No one cares about bad drama, keep it to yourself! Remeber that when you ask for more than you are willing to give or sacrifice, you don’t have a right to expect better treatment; you are entitled to nothing. Everything in life comes at a price and if you don’t have the funds to procure it you don’t have a right to steal it from those who can afford it, including peace of mind.

To the victims of their own delusions of grandeur on minimum wage salaries, no one ever died because they were too prudent or frugal. Learn to save to get what you want. To the conspiracy theorist, stop complaining about people trying to get you; you most likely have nothing anyone else wants, including your character and your well meaning intentions. Life is about chang, growth, community and social norms that can be challenged and amended; all these things serve a greater good, and are not tailored to satisfy just your comfort or lifestyle. Rules can be bent but should not be broken out of disdain or ignorance. They were created for a reason, most of them revolve around public safety. Y’all need to get over yourselves and start working together.

If we all were more kind and compassionate and less like you all, we might have a better chance at working together to build stronger communities and a healthier environment. Being a selfish, self absorbed, arrogant bastard is never conducent to progress and goodwill towards humanity. Sit and listen for a change before opening your mouth and handing out unwanted opinions. Don’t force others to conform to you or always do right by you. Choose your words carefully and wisely. Whenever you are about to tell someone off think before you make a fool of yourself.  Remember, assholes hate assholes too.

Sincerely,

Humanity


I normally stay away from using swear words in public but this subject required that I make an exception. The temptation  was hard to resist as this is one of my favorite words to describe ignorant and recalcitrant behavior. Opinions are like assholes; no one wants to listen to yours, necessarily. I hope you enjoy the rant. It was fun writing it.

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4 thoughts on “An Open Letter to A**holes

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  1. To the people in the grocery store, mall, sidewalk, anywhere in public who refuse to wave back to my 10-month-old, you are a jerk. There is a frantically waving, smiling baby begging you to acknowledge her by waving back. This is one of her only known means to use language right now. Wave to the baby for goodness sake.

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