Goodbye, My Friend…

It’s hard to acknowledge you are gone. Another car accident claims the life of a good friend. Receiving the call about your precarious condition at the hospital had the medical engineer in me terrified because most people don’t come back from DAI trauma. You were most likely unaware of what was happening in your induced coma state. Such a waste! Such a shame. I’m sure the self proclaimed voices in your head were not thrilled to be silenced so early in the game.

It was heartbreaking to deliver the news to unsuspecting peeps. Everyone thought this was a routine accident. It wasn’t even covered by the news teams because it felt innocuous. So weird. I had hopes that as one of the younger members of the crew you would outlive us all.  😭😭😭 “La hierba mala nunca muere.” Guess you weren’t that bad after all. 🤔🤔🤔

We joked we would meet up at the VIP section of the underworld, the Machiavelli in all of us making fun at the next life proposals, and I guess now only time will tell. We lived fully, with no regrets and no false love for the gods. Warriors waiting to be taken to Valhalla after watching the world bow to our mercy. I promise I will keep up the good fight for as long as you act as my devilish guardian shoulder angel. You are one of my brain voices now…

Ufff! Five pictures on my walls. Five. Out of a hundred pictures in frames that stop time and make us eternally fierce, and young too. I had to count them after my husband, another pal, said there were only 4. He missed Captain PhD’s wedding shot. Hehehe So many memories! It didn’t surprise me because you have been there for the better and worse parts of all our lives. Sometimes we make others up to be the best, the closest, the most important, but we fail to acknowledge the ones that have always been available, the ones that really cared. That was you. The one that knew when to call out of the blue even if the introvert in us was afraid it was bad news. It was never bad news. Not from you and your nerdy ways. A book, a recommendation, a chance to unleash our demons to one another. Never a doubt that we would meet again.

I can’t really think of moments when I passed up the opportunity to share my thoughts with you or to listen to your stories. The narratives of our lives intersected in many points; we always found the perfect excuse to see each other whenever afforded in some cool destination town. A testament to how well you loved us. Culebra. Barcelona. Universal Studios. Seattle. South Carolina. The destinations proof that we didn’t let distance get in the way of our friendship. Only seven months into 2017 I had already seen you twice, once in Orlando and once in South Carolina for my Man of Honor’s wedding. He had made you his best man too. 😎🤔😁 Wonder if you had to hold his hair as he puked during his bachelor party, as you did with me during mine.

Speaking of which, what we remembered most about the SC wedding was you escorting one of the young drunk ladies – who had been left in the 4th floor foyer to fend for herself – to her room. We watched your son while you talked to the hotel staff to get her a spare key and the room number to deliver her to safety. While other guys made fun of her predicament, you came to her rescue. That was so you. Although to be fair, if it had been any of us, you’d be egging us to perform a happy dance first, laughing hard at our inept moves. Mischief managed with a little of The North Remembers. 100% raw and real.

If I had to place a bet, I would have never bet you’d leave us so soon. Words fail to describe the grief we all feel; the love that is lost and left unspoken as we type our social media farewells. The parade of pix in your wall showing the world that you were adored. I recall hearing you cry when we lost K+J to the murderous fire of his uncle’s greed, and here we are 6.5 years later wishing we could hear you shed a tear one more time. Life has this cruel desire to take from our lives what is good, kind and lovely. The anger and the pain of knowing this burning brightly, fueling the passion within me.

I toast to your name and smoke a cigar to reminisce…

Forever in our hearts, cheers!


One last thing: MrEnginerd misses you dearly. Every cigar and booze run reminds us we won’t be able to share any of our new adventures with your physical form. I wonder how you would have wanted us to remember you. Party? Scholarship fund for your son? So many unanswered questions of the adulting kind. Love you. Hugs!!!

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